Aggressive Meditating? And when to let go…

Meditating aggressively... what is that you ask? This was a moment in session with a client this past week. It's an oxymoron, right? But he was saying; "I am doing all the things; yoga, connecting with friends, meditating- meditating aggressively! We had a laugh about this, partially because it is funny and partially because it was a bit true. So why am I up in my head still, self assessing and self questioning? Still unhappy?

Our discussion led to the experience of duality; on one hand a nihilistic outlook given the current state of things in the world and at the same time- doing "all the things" to be a content and happy person. Sometimes this can lead people to feel that hopelessness of "what's the point of it all"? Another way we talk about this in therapy, especially in addictions is the "all or nothing" thinking. A good question when you are at one of those poles, at either all or nothing, is, "what would the middle, or the happy medium look like right now? In mindfulness that might be seeing humor in your wandering mind. Just when you think you're in the moment- you recognize you are thinking (insert-laugh at yourself)! In connecting with friends, it might look like taking time in the moment to notice what you are enjoying; the way your friend tells a story or says something nice to you-notice the good. And in yoga, maybe it's not pushing yourself to intensify that pose, maybe it is letting go and easing up. The backbone of all of this is cultivating that self compassion to accept the experience you are having. It is okay to feel the feels, like everything else it will shift. Feelings rise and then they fall-think of waves crashing and then receding.

What would loosening the grip of your practices look like?

What are you holding onto that you can maybe set down?